


susurrus

by symphonyine



Category: Free!
Genre: Canon Divergence (most likely), M/M, nothing is unrequited because i'm not into those kinds of things, snapshots of slowburn romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 02:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2049186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphonyine/pseuds/symphonyine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Sousuke start dating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	susurrus

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thimble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thimble/gifts).



**IV.**

"Rock, paper, scissors... Once again!"

"Haha!" Rin sing-songs, eyes glinting, as his lips turn up in a smirk. "Good luck, now - onward, slave!" He points an imperious finger at Sousuke, the effect ruined by his good humour.

"I still don't understand why I keep agreeing to this when I know I always lose by now," Sousuke grumbles, in reference to their rock-paper-scissors throwdown, but climbs onto the bicycle anyway. Rin clambers on behind him, humming buoyantly, if tunelessly. "This is completely impractical," Sousuke says further, even as he begins cycling.

Rin snorts, giving him an unamused look he can't see. "It's not stopping you. For once," he mutters - pointlessly, seeing as he mutters it against the shell of Sousuke's ear.

They must look quite a sight, two big, tall boys, squashed onto the flimsy frame of a rented bicycle. It's late Saturday afternoon in a public park, and they do attract quite a few odd looks. Rin's fingers skitter nervously along the hem of Sousuke's shirt, but his arms stay looped loosely around his waist, his chest a warm weight lined up comfortably against Sousuke's back.

"So I was reading a book the other day," he says, "and before you say anything -"

"What, was it a romance novel?" It's a lazy comment, more reflex than anything, but the snicker when Rin straightens defensively is real.

"Geez! Why do you have to jump to conclusions about these sort of things!"

"But it was, wasn't it?" Sousuke casts a look over his shoulder knowingly, and sure enough Rin flushes.

"Not exactly, and Gou pretty much pushed it on me, okay." He's rubbing his neck, and shifts his position, a little too much, because -

"Whoa!"

"Careful! Don't tip us both over, damn it!"

"I wouldn't tip us over!"

"You almost did!"

"Oh yeah, like you could've prevented the bike from tipping when the person on the backseat leans too far left-"

Sousuke doesn't get to find out what the romance novel was about that day, but that's because he and Rin have better things to do. They cycle a few rounds through the park, chatting aimlessly; at one point Rin starts singing, and a belting competition ensues after he gets the key to a Taylor Swift wrong and Sousuke corrects him magnificently (they get a lot of glares and hushing for that, but they just continue more quietly). By the time they return the bike and get some ice lollies, the sun is setting, and in the soft dusky glow, Rin's hair looks tinted gold, light catching at strands and intermingling with the red in a fierce halo. They have another throwdown for a Pocari from the convenience store, even though there's another at the back of the refrigerator, and Sousuke -

"The probability of you winning every single round versus the actual results is a ridiculous ratio," Sousuke all but pouts as they walk back to the station. Rin laughs and calls him a sore loser, and slurps more loudly.

"Ah, it's so good! How refreshing, the perfect thirst quencher! I can't imagine what I'd do if I didn't have one!"

"Steal one from me, probably," Sousuke says. "Race me at butterfly again and lose, again." He waits for them to pass under the shadow of a tree, and when there's no one around to see, catches Rin's lips with his own. Rin makes a high sound of surprise, and doesn't react in time when Sousuke snags the can.

"Oi! We settled that fair and square with a throwdown!" Rin makes a grab for the can, but Sousuke just holds it higher.

"Just pretend we've already raced butterfly to renegotiate claims to the Pocari!" Sousuke laughs, with a smirk echoing Rin's.

Rin makes a highly offended noise, and scuffles for the Pocari. Sousuke lets him have it, mainly because there are more Pocaris back in school to race Rin for, and claims his hand as compensation.

There should be something special about this, but there really isn't. Their friendship is still there, readily apparent and a steady pulsating beat, just with an extra layer of something warm and golden, heat between palms and summer sun threading Rin's hair and burnishing his skin, chapped lips and the tips of his teeth returning a kiss on the way back to Samezuka. It's like - little stars, thrown into corners and nooks of a sky that hasn't changed (for example: Saturday night is still training night, the Olympics is still the only finish line, Rin still cries when he loses, and when he wins, and Sousuke still doesn't understand how one person can cry so much over everything.) It's a pleasant feeling, hazy and real at the same time.

They've started crashing on the bottom bunk together, even for a while before this officially began. Rin nuzzles into him chastely, all but snuggling up just before he crashes, and - it's nice. It's dumb and stupid and the more cynical part of him is disbelieving at how much messing around they're doing, but Sousuke has already decided to just take a leaf out of Rin's book for once, and indulges in a kiss that Rin quickly turns messy with a sleepy giggle.

It's more than Sousuke had expected when he'd transferred into Samezuka.

**II.**

Standing in the midst of the flashing lights, a stadium full of camera flares like sunbursts, the cheering of his people crashing in his ears, Sousuke feels light-headed, and for once it's only by instinct and reflex that he’s able to move. Victory is euphoric, a wave carrying him so far above, a thrill unlike any tournament he’s ever won before. He’s laughing without realising it, breaths coming hard as he shivers, stumbling a little as Rin throws an arm around him, pulling him into a four-man embrace. Rin is laughing too, and of course he's crying as well, and the thrum of spectators and commentators fade distantly away, into the tiny, wet sobs in between the words tumbling together in Rin's mantra of, "We did it, we did it, we did it, we did it, we did it."

The strains of _Kimigayo_ pour through the speakers, slipping through his trembling fingers and shaking breaths, solemn and slow. Over the Aquatics Centre, the flag rises, and the gold medal hangs heavy against his sternum, glinting hard and proud. Out of the corner of his eye, he watches the fierce angle of Rin's chin, the tears gathering again above flushed cheeks, and if he had ever been a person for sentiment, he would have this moment captured in some work of art. On Rin's other side, he thinks Haruka might think this way too; he’s sure, as the beacon-bright grin on Rin's face, that Haruka is watching him too and already tracing his profile on paper in his mind's eye.

Rin turns to Haruka first, Rin has always turned to Haruka first, he noticed that six years ago when they finally met again, but here and now he finds there are no more strange twinges of something unpleasant, no more confusion or displeasure, no more "why"s. Rin still has that smile that lights up only for him, and there it is now, secrets and memories and time that belong only to them two, and, standing in front of the world, shoulder to shoulder with him, sharing in one more moment, he’s not wishing for anything more. He does want more, that pang in his heart when Rin turned to Haruka first tells him that, but he is too proud to be so selfish, too pragmatic to lower himself to such foolishness, and anyway, he cares about Rin. There's time enough to think about that later, though, and for now he’s just breathless and dizzy, young and victorious, the Olympic medallist exchanging looks of unfettered joy and exhilaration with his teammates on national TV.

But this moment won't come for years, and for now Sousuke is still on his way there. Six years from now is very far away, so far away that he can't see it yet, doesn't know it's coming at all. Now, Sousuke is only eighteen, still growing up, and he has none of the certainty he will have then.

In the days following the time trials and the finalisation of the members competing, he tries to compare the Rin of now with the Rin he spent his childhood with. On the surface, they are the same person. There are superficial differences, shaped by time flowing by: Rin is older (five years), taller (thirty-two centimetres), heavier (nineteen kilograms), shoulders broader and hands bigger, his limbs longer and face sharper (teeth definitely so), his skin a warm sun-gold from years on another continent. But the rest, the rest is the same. The way his hair bounces when he laughs, the knife-edge glint of dangerous in his smile, the way he huffs in embarrassment and blushes splotchily when Sousuke teases him, the candid eye-rolls and matter-of-fact banter, the taunting humour and the playful narrowing of eyes in challenge… Rin is as familiar as an old pair of gloves, and the chemistry between them continues as if there had never been a five-year break in connection at all. If he didn’t look carefully enough, he wouldn’t notice the differences.

“Sousuke, you listening to me?” Rin frowns, leaning his face towards him. The annoyance is spelt clearly in his eyes, though there’s a hint of concern there too. That’s also familiar. “Oi, you there?”

“Just thinking about how you haven’t changed.”

“Ah,” Rin says, turning to face the front again. And right there, he sees the shadows of uncertainty, a hard edge that hadn’t been there before. It’s quickly gone though, replaced by a wry smile and a strangely genuine serenity. All this is also unfamiliar. “Tch. You’re really not letting this go, are you?”

“No. It’s just that five years is a long time. Sometimes I think it’s as if those five years didn’t happen, and then you say something that makes me remember how much we’ve both changed.” He looks at Rin, but Rin doesn’t meet his eyes, instead biting his lip ruefully as he runs his fingers down his can of Pocari.

“Yeah,” he says lowly, after a pause. “You too, you know. I never… I never thought I’d ever hear you willingly ask to swim in a relay with me again. Thank you, I really – “ he takes a deep breath, “I really appreciate it, I mean I know I’ve said it already, but I want you to know how much it means to me,” he tells Sousuke earnestly, and there’s so much gratitude and ardent sincerity in his face. It’s an intensity that most people would be embarrassed to receive, but that’s all just Rin.

Sousuke gives him a slightly incredulous look. “I’m not doing it for you, you know,” he smiles dryly. “Don’t be so dramatic.”

Rin huffs, and aims a sharp kick at his ankles. “Yeah, well, you stop being so – so slow. Finish your drink, it’s almost 9.30, and I’m getting a shower in before I sleep. Gonna leave you behind if you take so long.” He aims another kick for good measure, and Sousuke hums his agreement, but takes his time. Rin doesn’t move from where he is either, content to sit in silence, with only the vibration of the vending machine and the sound of Sousuke chugging his sports drink in the background.

It’s evening on a school night in Samezuka, and he and Rin have just finished one of their regular jogs. There’s nothing special about this night. It’s like any other, just another regular beat in the rhythm they’ve fallen into, warm and easy. They’ll go back to their dorm, get their things and head to the showers, and when they come back they’ll lounge on the bottom bunk together for a while. Sometimes one or both of them’ll have homework to finish, sometimes they’ll just share earphones and flop around reading, occasionally talking. There shouldn’t be much to talk about, since they’re almost always together nowadays, more than they ever have been before, yet there always is something to discuss with Rin, to debate over, to joke about, to get fired up about in short-lived tangents, a sudden staccato in the droning monotony of school nights. He and Rin see things too differently, and sometimes they have to agree to disagree before a debate escalates into an argument, or continue in the morning, because it’s getting late – but oddly enough, that’s why they get along so well. And then in the morning, they’ll both be up early for a morning jog, eat breakfast together, go to lessons, hang out for lunch…

Honestly, life in Samezuka isn’t a piece of cake. The workload is demanding and the expectations are high, and coupled with the training times of the swim team, they’re enough to kill a less disciplined student. But he knows he’s more than resilient enough for this rigour, and he’s already been through a grinder like this in Tokyo, and Rin is no less capable than he is. So it’s not that Rin _helps_ him through Samezuka, or that he even has to, and neither is it the other way round, that Rin needs him – it’s more like Rin makes Samezuka more interesting, more engaging, than it would be if he weren’t around. Somehow, in the five-year gap he had forgotten how much he enjoyed his company, how natural their friendship is.

He did miss him, though.

When Rin stopped writing back to Sousuke, during the time he was in Australia, Sousuke was hurt. It troubled him more than he cared to tell anyone, and at first he wanted to write a letter to him. It would have been the first correspondence initiated by him; it became the what-if he thinks about sometimes now, in rare pensive moments after Rin’s shaky, incomprehensibly newborn confidence shows again, fresh hopes mingling with old doubts, or when Rin speaks of the Iwatobi team with fondness and gratitude, and leaves him feeling out of the loop, a feeling he dislikes. He did miss Rin, and he still misses Rin, because there are new things about him he can’t understand, and wants to with a desperation he’s never had when it comes to wanting to know. Had he written to Rin, would he still be out of the loop now?

But he hadn’t – couldn’t have – known to ask that question then. Instead, he thought of Rin’s oversensitivity, how he was prone to unpredictable frustrations and moods of insecurity, and decided Rin would write to him when he needed to. Rin didn’t appreciate being troubled when he was upset, could be volatile if someone said the wrong thing at the wrong time, and he always came around somehow. Sousuke trusted him to be strong, and gave him the space he expected he needed. Instead, Sousuke focused on his own goals, knowing Rin would be doing the same, and anyway Sousuke never liked losing challenges. Eventually it had consumed him, the mindless striving and physical strain, stretching out into a single-minded one-note bass upon which everything else was built, and it’s a good thing he had the right temperament for slogging it out, enough clarity of mind to take brutal schedules in his stride and excel because of it.

How was he to know when Rin had stopped swimming in tandem with him, oceans and continents away, when Rin had fallen behind? He had no reason ever to, and he knows he has no fault in whatever has given Rin grief, but the more principled part of him feels just a little responsible.

“Why was Haru looking at you all weird at practice just now? And acting all weird with me too.” Rin’s voice is muffled by his towel as he dries his hair, but the “did you do something (I know you did something)” tone is no less clear.

“Ah?” Sousuke asks, tone perfectly inquisitive. He bustles around with the contents of his locker, tucking them into his bag. He knows he isn’t fooling Rin, but it doesn’t bother him as much as it should. 

Rin peeks out from beneath his towel, his one visible eye unamused. “Oi, please don’t tell me you threatened him or something,” he prodded.

There isn’t a point in keeping up a façade. He shouldn’t have had to go behind his back in the first place, not when Rin should have been telling Nanase that himself, saving power of friendship or not. “Mm, sometimes I swear you read my mind.”

Rin sounds a lot like he’s choking on his own spit, and then he’s turning angrily on Sousuke, and for a fraction of a second they’re five years younger, sitting on a bench in this exact same position, Rin shouting at him about relays and teams and dead fathers. “What the hell? Are you crazy? What on earth could you have against Haru? He hasn’t done anything to you, jeez!” He takes a steadying breath, and continues without letting him respond. “Is this about the relay? I told you, Haru _saved_ me.”

Against his better judgment, he’s bristling. “It’s not just about the relay. It’s Nanase, and how he’s holding you back.”

“ _Holding me back?_ ” Rin splutters, face ablaze and eyes like fire, but Sousuke doesn’t let him continue.

“He refuses to make use of all the potential he has, and fools around instead,” he cuts across, looking down with all the coldness he can muster, with his words white-hot like a slap across Rin’s face, “all while dragging you in with him. Don’t deny it, he wants you to swim with him, and you want to as well, but if you don’t take swimming seriously, you won’t get good enough to be scouted. And swimming with Nanase, for whatever it is you’re chasing that he has, you know it isn’t going to help you reach the Olympics. It’s not pushing you to get better, not when all you want to do is beat him, despite the fact that there are faster times you need to at least match. You’re half-right,” he tells him, something vicious and unpleasant twitching inside him, “that I do have something against Nanase. I can’t respect someone who cares so little about what he can do. But don’t dismiss this as a personal grudge; I…” He pauses, licking his lips. Rin stares at him, simmering down but still waiting impatiently, his brow still etched with displeasure. “I only want…” _The best for you. Your happiness. The fulfillment of your dreams._ “…to make sure you don’t lose your chance at the Olympics.”

Rin glares at him for a long time, but it’s mostly half-hearted, and then, “Tch. I can take care of myself. Leave my friends alone.”

He kicks Sousuke extra hard in the ankles, and stalks out without him, leaves him alone. Sousuke lets him go, leans back on his hands. He hasn’t yet acknowledged it, but the ugly, angry little troll inside his chest, separate from the part of him that is genuine concern (for Rin) and genuine disdain (for Nanase), is called jealousy, and it’s mad that these people, this team, who have not known Rin since childhood, who do not know his dreams and fears so intimately, are now as important, if not more important, than he himself. It had been asleep for nearly three years, put to sleep after the hurt of Rin’s silence was finally put out of mind, but it’s fiercer now than it had ever been.

**III.**

It starts out slow, first a drip, steadying into a flow, and then it becomes a stream, and the process is like a seed germinating in the light of the sun, under the steady constant devotion of water. There is no startling epiphany, no sudden enlightenment, just a gradual awareness, a quiet pulse that sounds again, and again, and again, repeating until it fades into the background.

It’s late afternoon in Samezuka, the heat of nearing mid-summer clogging the air, clinging to skin. There’s no session today, but he and Rin intend to train for a while later anyway. For now they’re both catching up on homework, stubbornly ignoring the stuffiness of the dorm room. The tiny fan in the corner's not doing much to alleviate his suffering; really the most good it's doing is providing a constant background whirring that makes it just a little easier to concentrate.

"Rnnngggh," comes a faint groan from behind him, and Rin's forehead hits his table as he continues to grunt unintelligibly.

"Need a break?" He chucks a well-aimed energy bar at Rin’s head, and gains a disgruntled pout and a "thank you" for his trouble.

"It's this damn heat," Rin mutters unnecessarily, "It makes me not want to do anything."

"Stop whining." But he only sighs and rolls his eyes when Rin drags his chair over and slumps next to him, pushing him to the side. "You know, this proximity only makes the heat worse."

"Shut up, I can't concentrate over there. Do the history question with me. And anyway, the fan's stronger here," Rin throws in feebly, knowing Sousuke will humour him anyway. He rests his cheek on the table, watching listlessly as Sousuke picks up his essay plans.

"Why did you agree with the statement? It makes no sense when you look at all the counter-evidence."

"No," he scowls. "That's only true if you restrict your definition of change to total upheaval of previous context."

"Are we arguing by definition now?"

He grits his teeth, sparking to life, and everything goes better after that. Sousuke finishes much more of his assignments than expected, and then they head down to the swimming complex together.

"I can't believe you actually read the full version of _Genji monogatari_ ," Rin keeps saying, snapping his goggles on. "And enjoyed it. What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"You're the one who's losing out," he shrugs.

"Losing out, your ass." Rin throws his goggles case at him, jabs him in the shin with his heel. “Race you to the pool, loser pays for drinks later!”

“What- Rin!”

“Gonna lose, loser!”

“That’s a terrible comeback!”

The dawning begins as he climbs out of the pool, while Rin is speaking excitedly about Samezuka’s relay team again.

“- and he’s getting faster, honestly, I always knew he was hardworking and enthusiastic, but I didn’t know he was _this_ fired up; the next time he goes up against Nagisa, it won’t be so much of a walk-over,” Rin is chuckling as he throws him his towel, and the filtered glow seeping in through the skylights is washing everything in blue. There’s a sudden moment of heightened awareness, the kind where you feel like an outsider watching yourself, and it doesn’t fall into place so much as rise in volume, crescendo from silence into heartbeat. It’s patently untrue that Sousuke has simply picked up from where they left off five years ago. It makes sense. The differences between him and Rin had always made their interactions unpredictable enough to be stimulating, while their similarities had eased their connection, made understanding come as naturally as existence; but now he doesn’t know Rin like the back of his hand anymore, has had to relearn him and try to understand the new grooves where he doesn’t fit, and somehow those changes –

“Damnit Sousuke, I’m talking to you! What is up with you lately?”

**V.**

He thinks he might understand now, with blood rushing hot in his veins and the light seared into his eyes, the laughter and tears of his teammates roaring in his ears, why Rin won’t give up this singing in his chest and the exhilaration of a relay. Sousuke is probably still more of a soloist, but – this is an unexpected reward, a feeling to cherish.

Rin’s hair is wet and limp and brushing the nape of Sousuke’s neck, and even wrapped tight in the embrace of his team, Sousuke still cranes his head around, just enough to catch an eyeful of Nanase and his team, in a position perfectly mirrored, right down to the tied digit “1” on the scoreboard above their heads.

Even that – he might understand too. What he felt, watching as Rin pierced through the air above him, a dazzling meteor on a summer night, would never compare to how Rin had felt under Nanase’s dive; just seeing how Rin looked at him told him that much.

For now, a new equilibrium has been reached. The next time Rin and the Iwatobi team meet up, Sousuke is personally invited too. It happens during a long weekend, on a Friday both Samezuka and Iwatobi have off – Hazuki decides they need “bonding” time, which in his mind is a day at a _water park_.

(The eve of the day, Rin drags Sousuke down to the kitchens in the cafeteria, insisting, “I don’t trust them to bring _real_ food. Except maybe Rei and Gou. _Maybe_. Whatever, I’m not eating anything they bring.”

One thing always leads to another, and neither of them really did intend to make _so many_ sandwiches. Damn Rin and his need to make even sandwich-making a challenge, and damn Sousuke’s inability to be wrong about anything, even about how much filling a sandwich can hold.)

It being a weekday during the academic term, there aren’t many people at the water park, which is as good as a green light for them to go wild. The group splits into several parties almost instantly – Ryuugazaki is screaming as Hazuki herds him into a particularly terrifying jungle gym/slide complex, while Gou and Tachibana are huddled over where everyone has dumped their bags, arguing over something (or at least, Gou is doing the arguing; Tachibana just looks like he’s trying to politely disagree and _not_ disagree at the same time, and failing). Rin and Nanase have already disappeared.

Sousuke mulls this over for a while, wondering if it would be worth it to try to find Rin and Nanase, or if he should try to get to know the others better. He takes another look at Gou and Tachibana, who are quickly descending into a stalemate with awkwardness of astounding proportions, listens out for Hazuki’s cackling and Ryuugazaki’s continued screeching, and heads off for the water slides – there’s enough water there to race in, probably, never mind that this is meant for children to play in.

As it turns out, however, Rin and Nanase are actually children. They’re playing some bizarre form of catch and using the slides as actual slides. It’s utterly shameless childishness and also mildly disturbing, especially when Sousuke catches Nanase hiding a giggle. He didn’t know Nanase could giggle.

“I leave you alone for two seconds and you lose all semblance of maturity,” Sousuke says as he wades toward them. Nanase freezes and his face turns cold immediately, but his gaze is (only slightly) warmer than it had been when they hadn’t been on more neutral terms, when Nanase hadn’t bucked up a bit yet and Sousuke couldn’t look at him without a mental lip curl of disdain.

“Wha-!” Rin loses his balance gracelessly, but Sousuke catches his waist and Nanase steadies him by his elbow before he can topple off the slide. “Geez, can you at least _come into sight_ before you say something?”

“I don’t know what you want from me, you keep raising your standards,” Sousuke replies tonelessly, referring to what had happened before they’d met up with Nanase and the others (he’d slipped silently into step behind a half-asleep Rin, and had gotten a deafening yell in response). In his periphery, he sees Nanase frowning in confusion. Rin starts to speak, but he kicks Rin’s ankles and pushes him off, relishing the resulting screech more than he should.

Nanase’s frown is a lot more pointed and pronounced now, but Sousuke just says, “I’ll get there and dunk his head before you do,” and that gets him a little huff that could be Nanase’s version of a laugh.

In the split second as they take off down the slide, timed so Nanase won’t get to respond, Sousuke says, “Has anyone ever told you that you need to start _speaking up_?”

Sousuke does end up getting there to dunk Rin first, mainly because Rin is already headed his way, raging like summer wildfire at _foul play_. Nanase watches their violent splashing and eventual wrestling, remaining wary of Sousuke, and if Rin notices, he doesn’t comment on it.

Later in the afternoon, they drop by an arcade, and Sousuke realizes that he may have been too quick to let his pride cloud his judgment before. He doesn’t have any proof that he had been so unobservant before, but he knows looks like that don’t happen suddenly. Nanase looks extremely discomfited that he doesn’t have the entirety of Rin’s attention now, and Sousuke gets it, and it confirms his suspicions.

It’s not fair to Rin to accuse him of neglecting either of them, though; in fact he eventually ropes them into a three-way competition, shooting basketball hoops (Nanase has excellent aim) and playing DDR (Rin pretty much destroys them, which means they spend a good hour hogging the game to attempt to topple him, and Sousuke nearly shouts a swear at him once, to much cackling). During a round of Guitar Hero, Sousuke finds he’s almost enjoying Nanase’s company. He doesn’t belt the lyrics with Rin and Sousuke, or laugh with them, but he’s better than both of them at the actual game, and smiling in amusement. Sousuke has seen more facial expressions from the guy today than in all the time he’s ever known him.

The other four finally emerge from the depths of God-only-knows-where in time for barbecue dinner, at an outdoor barbecue site one of them (probably Gou) had managed to secure. It’s fairly chaotic and cements the opinion Sousuke formed at lunch: the Iwatobi team cannot be trusted with food. Rin laughs in his face when he tells him this, and starts skewering his own meat while the others bicker and try to stop Nanase from putting mayonnaise on his mackerel. This debacle attracts Rin’s attention, which really means Nanase now has two Matsuokas heckling him about his eating habits, and Sousuke doesn’t pity him. Sousuke ends up taking over the cooking of Rin’s skewers, surveying the scene in bemusement. Tachibana slumps next to him and starts helping with the food, by all appearances exhausted and desperate for a break from interaction (read: parenting) with the others. He looks very much like a teenaged dad who’s had to deal with far too many hyperactive children, which is a fairly accurate analogy. Sousuke pities _this_ guy, and is about to start a conversation, possibly inquire into his well-being and ask if he needs an aspirin, until he realizes Tachibana _also cannot be trusted with food_. All pity dies then.

Time does a funny thing of turning everything on its head. This is the kind of scene Sousuke could not have imagined himself at barely a few weeks ago. The last time Rin and the Iwatobi team had a get-together, Sousuke had stayed at Samezuka. He’s not sure if it had just been a dinner that dragged on too long, or a sleepover Rin had decided to leave early. At around half to eleven, a heavy summer shower had begun, a relentless torrential murmur, and Rin had had to text him, because he hadn’t brought an umbrella, the idiot.

 _[oi, come get me.]_ He’d sent a sticker, a bunny drenched in the rain. And then a few more, for good measure, of various miserable looking bunnies, until Sousuke had gotten annoyed enough to send one back, of a bear giving a good hard punch, and then another with an umbrella.

 _[stop being so impatient!]_ He could see Rin in his mind’s eye, giggling insanely as he flipped through his phone for more stickers to spam. Sousuke ignored his phone when it beeped a few more times.

Rin had given up when Sousuke arrived at the train station, hands pushed into his pockets and bag under the bench he was sitting on. The wind had spattered his clothes and face lightly with drops of rain, and blown his hair into a mess. He looked tired, though happy, livening up when he saw Sousuke. “Finally! I thought you’d decided to crawl here.”

He’d crumpled on the bottom bunk with a groan the moment they’d gotten back to the dorm, only dramatically dragging himself to the showers after a series of unamused prods to the side and disparaging sarcasm.

“Do I really want to know what you do with those guys all day?” Sousuke asked when Rin came back, not looking up from his desk.

Rin huffed affectionately, though with a hint of bemusement, “They’re all nuts, the whole bunch of them. Where’s your food?” He was poking around in Sousuke’s stuff.

“What food?”

“Don’t try to bluff, I know you always keep a snack stash somewhere, Mr. Oh-So-Disciplined-Athlete. Hand it over.”

“Didn’t you have dinner with your friends? Did they not feed you?”

Rin had found the stash by now, and was ripping open the packets. “They did, it’s just that _mackerel_ is ridiculous and not dinner, and too little to keep up with them on.”

He’d headed back to the bunk then, and just as the rain started to get heavier, thick static solidifying into a single constant clamour, Rin said, “Let’s make a pillow fort.”

Sousuke’d given Rin a weird look, and said, “We don’t have enough pillows.”

“I feel like it,” Rin shrugged. “We’ll make do.”

It was the stupidest thing then, in the midst of arguing about how the placement of different bags would affect the integrity of their half constructed pillow disaster, to decide to- well.

“You ever think we might make a good couple?” he asked, quite calmly, watching Rin as a tumult of emotions flashed across his face, fingers half-reaching up to his lips.

Rin’s primary reaction was shock, confusion, and some conflict. If he had said no, Sousuke is fairly sure he knew who the reason was. Instead, Rin gathered himself, “I guess we would,” and then grinning mischievously, “I’m sure I could do better though.”

“Better than me, or better than me at kissing?”

Rin didn’t take him up on that line of thinking, and said instead, “You didn’t honestly transfer back here just because you wanted to swim as you liked, or whatever rubbish, did you?”

“Nah. I wanted to make sure you weren’t being held down by a bunch of nuts. This was unexpected,” Sousuke shrugged. “Besides, you’ve made worse decisions. Transferring schools and moving to another town a few months before graduation? Only you could be that shamelessly in love.”

Rin flushed, but then said, “Are you sure you want this though? Even knowing that.”

Behind him, a corner of the would-be fort started to crumble. Sousuke caught it, and held it up. “If you want it.”

Rin took the shoe-bag from Sousuke and slotted it back into place. “There’s not much going on with Haru anyway. We’re friends now, and it’s more than I could have asked for. I’m content with as much as he’s willing to give me.”

 _You’re not,_ Sousuke had wanted to say then, _you just don’t want to push, for fear of being rejected._ But instead, he said, “If you’re happy then.”

And then he pulled the shoe-bag out and let the sleeping bag above it bounce off Rin’s head. 

**VII.**

Being on the Olympic team isn’t glamourous at all, not when you haven’t won any medals and are still training. Life these days is nothing but training, with only short hours every evening for personal time. Rin, Sousuke, and Haruka are rarely out of one another’s sight, and yet manage to accomplish the astounding feat of barely interacting significantly at the same time - unless, of course, one considers the training together a significant interpersonal activity, in which case they are always engaged in intimate personal relations.

With a change in relations, there has been a change, a shift in the way the three of them work. Nanase has become Haruka, and while Rin remains a subtle strain seeping in his blood, Haruka has already understood and decided what he wants – out of everything. The tension that has previously existed only tenuously has steeped, will only dilute and dissipate when either of them finally tells Rin and lets him decide with full information. It’s not happening yet, but it will.

For now, the one saving lunches for Rin when training runs late and sending sleepy late night texts when he’ll be back late is Sousuke. 

**I.**

As a child, Sousuke had always been a little too direct, not timid enough to be polite. He’d look straight at people when he spoke to them, catching and holding their eye, even if they were adults, even if he was in the wrong. He was never the first to break a gaze, partly out of pride and challenge, partly just out of curiosity. He stared as long as it suited him, and his mother had said, “Don’t stare too long, it’s rude.”

The advice went unheeded, mainly because rudeness, Sousuke had found, was secondary to what he learnt about the people he stared at. Some were bold enough to stare back, some got mad enough to talk more, and some got curious about him; those people tended to become his friends, and if they didn’t they tended to be the petty sort who held grudges for nonexistent offenses.

Sousuke thinks that his mother should have said, “Don’t stare too long, you’ll start liking people and that’s the worst thing that could happen.” Years later he’s stared too long at his best friend, who’s stared too long at a boy who stared back when Sousuke stared at him and grew enough balls to go from scum in his eyes to an equal. 

 

**VI.**

Rin disappears one afternoon after class, while Sousuke has a consultation with a teacher, and he finds Rin later in the study area, not studying but making friendship bands instead, with a group of at least six other boys.

“They’re for charity,” Rin tells him, and one of the other boys at the table jumps at the prospects of yet another factory assembly worker. Apparently some service group is setting up a fair at a nearby town centre this weekend, and Sousuke tunes out the rest.

“You chose terrible colours,” he tells Rin, eying the bands Rin has assumedly made with disgust and an air of hopelessness. “They’re never gonna get sold.”

“Oh yeah? Sit yourself down, let’s see how well you do,” Rin huffs annoyedly.

Rin does indeed choose terrible colours (in Sousuke’s words, “all you did was grab the most glaring colours and put them together, with no regard for coordination,”), but funnily enough they sell for precisely that reason, and Rin makes Sousuke wear one in penance. It would be more effective if Sousuke were actually embarrassed by this, but he doesn’t really care.

“You’re still wearing it,” Rin observes incredulously, as they walk to class one morning, the garish threads stark against the blinding white of the uniform in morning sun.

Sousuke shrugs, feeling the swish of the braids against the veins in his wrist, an echo of a familiar susurration threaded deep in his pulse, and tells him he wanted to, just to see Rin flush, and flash him a smile like summer lightning.

**Author's Note:**

> Not in before Episode 5
> 
> Written after Episode 4, except I took so long Episode 5 aired and has/will probably jossed this
> 
> Unbeta'ed. I don't really like it that much? I haven't had time to edit it, and GOD THIS WAS A NIGHTMARE TO WRITE. RinHaru is still my OTP, but SouRin just grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. /chinhands
> 
> Gifting this to bent because 1) you're a darling 2) you offered to beta and i thought why not 3) you ship sourin too. (I don't know if my interpretation of SouRin is how you'd see them though :3)
> 
> EDIT 1.8.14.: some technical edits made.
> 
> EDIT 3.8.14.: some more minor edits made.
> 
> EDIT 6.8.14.: some inconsistent tenses fixed, ambiguous sentences edited, a few minor additions made. Jesus, so many dumb errors, and not one person told me about it? :c Also I'm laughing, instead of jossing this fic, Ep5 just gave me Sousuke staring pensively at Rin's abs, bless you KyoAni


End file.
